I wrote this initially at the end of June, 2012 but updated it today.
I have one more day and a wakeup till I move back home to the states and once again become retired living in a country club in Southern California instead of an expat wife living in Bangkok. I've done this before. I am unraveling my relationships, packing my things, saying my goodbyes, doing all that I love one more time. On one hand my heart breaks, on the other it's time to go.
I am going back to my family; my children, my grandchildren, my home. That should be enough but the world is my home. I feel comfortable in many cities, states, countries. I am a different person in each of these places. It takes me a bit of time and effort to shed one skin and don another. Some places I feel more comfortable in and some I struggle with more. I bore easily and love to be entertained. Some say I am entertaining but I crave entertainment. As a child I collected friends who made me laugh. I have learned that in life few people really have that ability to make me laugh out loud.
Here in Bangkok I am an experienced expat wife...one of the older ones in fact. I've lived in Singapore for over 10 years and I've lived here in Bangkok several years ago for 3 years. That makes me experienced and a leader. I can help those that are new, young, struggling or all three.
When I go home to the country club I am younger than most and not really the country club type, luckily. Here in Bangkok I have friends that are in their early 30's, some younger than my own children. In the desert I have friends my parents age. I am a reflection of those I surround myself with and therefore I struggle with who I am and who I will become, this time.
Ron and I have repatriated 3 times. The first time was after living in Singapore for more than 10 years. The first time Ron retired our two children Daniel and Brittany both went off to college and therefore we were empty nesters and I turned 40 that year all at the same time. It was brutal. I've often said that though expatriating is difficult repatriating can be even more difficult. I leave with a heavy heart.
